The Mind of a Married Man

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The Wannabe

Posted by Christopher Jacob on August 20, 2010 at 10:44 AM

How true are we to ourselves?

Do you find yourself wondering who we are?  If someone asked you, who you are? would you know how to answer this question? Do you describe yourself as the Accountant who is never late at anything, or the never tiring athlete who always score the winning goal? Will you describe yourself in terms of relations - the husband of your wife, or the son of your father?

Like the rest of the people here on this planet, you probably believe that you need to become someone, well, truth is - you don't! The only need for you to become is "Yourself".

You need not worry why this is the case, like everyone else - we are not who we are all the time. We jump from one being to the next trying to live a life where we try to be someone we are not. You may only be yourself when you find that the situation is safe, convenient and comfortable. Believing that you can find your true self, when your ego is not at risk.

As a child, I belonged to different group of friends, doing different activities and trying to find out who I was. I tried to be my brother's little pet doing the things that he was doing and trying to find essence in our relationship as brothers.  Only to find out that his fate is totally different than mine. It's weird that as kids, our parents tells us that we can be anything we want when we grow up as if telling us that we can be anything except ourselves? I think it would have been more appropriate if they told us that we can do anything we want when we grow up. 

This being said, our parents have already laid the red carpet for us - dictating things in our head "unintentionally???" Pushing us hard in different areas and fields to harness our potential. To be someone they believe we can be. Some families are so dysfunctional that choices are made by them for their children ` even when they are older - this makes it more difficult for the child / person to make decisions when he or she reaches the adulthood stage. Dependency is like a drug. Once you are hooked - it is very difficult to stay away.

But then something happens when we grow a bit older, we are now told to make something out of ourselves; hey wait a minute, whatever happened with you can be anything you want?  It's easier to believe what is told when we were kids, but when we are older - it's time to get real and be a responsible adult.

As this change happens within us, we then start looking for something outside of our real selves. We now need the clothes, the car, the house, the look, the group of friends who you believe will define who you are or so you think? Our personality becomes more complex - we now drown in our own materialistic wanting than what is actually needed. Ultimately, we feel that the only importance now is to project a good image thinking that this is what defines who we truly are.


Does this make you happy? Does living a lie make you whole?


There was  soda pop TV commericial sometime in the late 80's / early 90's with the tagline "Magpaka totoo ka!" in english simply says, "be true to yourself".


The most important opinion you should seriously consider, is yours.


As one friend normally puts it, "If in doubt, don't!"


So why on earth would I want to be someone else? When I can always be me!


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