|Posted by Christopher Jacob on December 25, 2009 at 10:55 AM|
Much has been debated about the true nature of a man.
Like any international beauty pageant contestant, we, men too would love "World Peace".
Contrary to the belief of most women that we are but slobs, putts and inadvertently moronic and gives out the basic impression that 99% of the time think ONLY about how to get inside the pants of the very first skirt seen in sight – then maybe some of you would disagree. As obscure as it may seem – some of us do plunge into the pitfalls of this condition. But mind you that life is not all about lustful disbeliefs including but not limited to alcohol and women, fast cars and women, GQ fashion and women, High Tech Gadgetry and women. See what I mean?
One wise horny man once asked me – "what is it that is in front of a woman that is at the back of a cow?"
This question will basically show your true nature - as how one’s answer would depend on how crooked one’s thinking is all about. I will leave this for later.
Married men have few pleasures mind you – and can be summarized in one scenario.
Yes there are times when a married man would ask himself how he got involved in such a state when things start to spiral beyond his imagination? Of course this does not apply to all; I am led to believe that most married men would have in his lifetime of being married thought of in one way or another being “unmarried” - this scenario has crossed the minds of all married men. No exceptions. But why you may ask? Is it just man’s nature that one cannot be tied down? That even a tamed stallion once it finds himself in the prairie will feel the wilderness calling back to him? Or is it just the basic instinct of his male testosterone that openly calls for its freedom, just like Mel Gibson in his award winning role in Braveheart?
But what does a married man truly want?
Basic Pursuit of Happiness – one’s destiny is dictated by one’s character. Men of different origin and belief apparently have similar taste when it comes to personal satisfaction. Skin deep, the basic pleasures apply – money, power and ultimately sex. Conservatives would say otherwise, that they would rather have security and a box of microwavable-ready to eat food. Needless to say that happiness varies on ones’ perspective. I would like to think that basic wants can be outlined and best described with the following:
Midnight Madness: Believe it or not, spontaneity can shake the tenderness out of anyone. While snoring under the sheets fast asleep – the wife giving us a buzz and waking us up at 1AM telling us that she just had a crazy sexy dream and can’t fall back to sleep will definitely-maybe and completely charge the bearings out of anyone. That is why a mini fridge is advisable beside the bed. (Don’t forget your stocks of Red Bull or Lipovitan)
Han Solo: Relationships are normally based on trust. From time to time, we would like to go out and handle the kids by ourselves without having to go through the notions of doubt. That we can be responsible and our judgment on whether or not ice cream is best for breakfast is part of the trial and error conditions of being a parent. Nothing to worry about if we throw the baby a few more feet off the ground or letting the children operate the chainsaw at least once. We need to feel we are able to do all these things and go crazy with the kids compared to just being stuck inside the office lifeless.
Night Out with the Girls: Unselfish of us to allow the wife to go out and have fun with the “amigas” on a Saturday Night? We have our ulterior motives, as the wife is able to blow off steam, being happy with friends and a little bit intoxicated (or not) will come back home a happy camper. If the wife is happy, we are happy! Not to mention that they get to recharge their batteries and can do extra rounds under the sheets afterwards. This also provides us with a good reason to ask for our own“Boys Night Out” too.
Salon and Spa Treatment: Yes, we married men should tolerate the wives’ body treatments. Not only will she feel special but we have our own reasons why we should allow this. If the wife craves for some pampering, so do we. We can’t wait to get our hands on that smooth – silky skin of hers after she’s come back from the Spa. You know what happens afterwards.
Gimme More Nagging: While the average bloke will tend to disagree, if you think about it – we do like (sometimes) being told what to do. Because at the end of the day we know that the wife is only looking out for our best interests. But make sure that she does not overdo it.
Braindead Sundays: Getting up early and being asked to take out the trash or having to be woken up at 7AM to do house chores is a bit sadistic for our taste. We feel that we should give more time for snuggling, scooping, spooning and under the sheets action on a Sunday morning. Don’t mind that we are at a vegetative state during lunch time or having to be totally PS3 dedicated for 5 hours. We just need some time to do some stupid things at least once a week.
Oral Sex: Self Explanatory I suppose.
These necessary wanting provide us with enough reasons to just go about and keep our sanity inside our respective marriages. I know you guys will have more ideas, but in the meantime – I leave you with this.
“W” by the way is the answer.